


And I Forget That I had Said my Last Goodbyes

by scrapmetal



Category: Smile For Me (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Nonbinary Kamal Bora, Other, except for that i guess. i can do what i want tho, kamal uses they/them pronouns along w fk, might add some other characters as i continue idk, pretty canon compliant i'd like to think?, takes place both right before and right after the habitat bc im skipping around baybee
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2020-08-23 05:30:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20237530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrapmetal/pseuds/scrapmetal
Summary: “Yeah. You uh. You really went off the deep end there, huh. I'm…” Kamal lowered themself to Habit’s level, hugging their legs in their usual fashion. “I should've stopped you. Shoulda been more like Flower Kid. I should've been able to see that you weren't okay and that you needed some sorta intervention or. Talk or. Something. I. I just ran away though. Ran up all those stairs. Away from everything like the coward I am.”Habit looked up at Kamal a bit. “You were close.”title is lyrics from Sundial by Lemon Demon





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> first time writing these characters so im a bit mdsgmdsm but! i hope its good

Kamal rocked back and forth as he desperately listened for any clear voices on the other side of the wall. Well, they were listening for Habit’s voice, as Flower Kid didn’t really have one most of the time.

They managed to turn off Martha, thank god. It took a lot of brute force fueled by their hate for the thing, but she was off. There was still so much laughing gas in the air though, so Kamal covered up their face as best they could and tried to take as small breaths as possible while also kind of freaking out. Well, not kind of freaking out, definitely freaking out. 

Habit wouldn't  _ kill  _ the Flower Kid… Would he? Kamal shook their head to try to get that image out of their head. Of course not. The worst thing they thought he'd do was. Um. Glue their mouth shut? Nope, stop, that wasn't a good thought either. They didn't know how bad he'd gotten exactly, probably a good thing, but it wasn’t too helpful for their thoughts at that moment. 

There was the sound of a door opening and someone, Habit probably, shuffling through the door shut. That meant Flower Kid was still in there. They could maybe storm in and try to break them out? Kamal remembered how tall Habit was and how scary dental tools could be when pointed at you and decided against it. 

The door opened again. Flower Kid. Kamal pressed themself against the wall to make out the words and…

They did it. Flower Kid, with their silent, patient kindness, got through to him. Kamal almost let out a sob when they heard Habit’s voice take on the tone it got when he was serious, it'd been too long. 

Habit had… Hurt Kamal before they had quit. They thought about it a lot, his words swirling in their mind as it spiraled into a mess of self loathing and hurt. They didn't  _ excuse  _ him for saying any of that, fuck no, they deserved an apology, but they understood that he needed help. They... god were their thoughts on Habit a mess right then. Their mind screamed at them saying that he  _ despised  _ them, but logically they knew that he was trying to push them away because he didn't want them talking him out of whatever the fuck evil plan he'd cooked up. Their doubts clouded their logic, their logic derived from knowing Habit for years, from knowing his trauma, from watching him break. It made them feel sick, and so they just paced back and forth on the roof for a week or two or three. 

The kid left, and Kamal didn't bother to move from their place next to the door. Flower Kid didn't look their way, and so Kamal didn't address them. There wasn't much for Kamal to say, and if they wanted to know what Flower Kid thought, they'd need to learn sign language. Kamal stuck that thought onto their mental to-do list for about the eighth time after meeting them properly. 

Kamal slowly inched inside the room. Habit was just standing there, looking out the window. Kamal flinched a bit and started to backtrack a bit before Habit turned back towards them, tears lining his face and a flower clutched delicately in his hands. 

“Kamal?” He said quietly with a slow blink.

Kamal hadn't seen him look so sincere in a while. It had been a mask of fake smiles for so, so long. They nervously took a step forward, the sound of Habit’s mocking voice replaying in the back of their mind. He hated them. 

“Im’. Sorry.” Habit slowly sat down, hands starting to tremble, the flower shaking in his hands. 

Kamal knew what Lily meant to Habit, but until they were standing here in front of him they never guessed that Lily was a flower. They thought that maybe he was a favorite stuffed animal or blanket, Habit was never specific on any of the details of his childhood if he ever talked about it at all, which was understandable. A tooth lily made a lot of sense though, and Kamal felt like a bit of an idiot for not realizing that that's why Habit mentioned wanting to be a florist a couple times, tooth lilies were notoriously rare and difficult to grow. 

Kamal nodded slightly in response to the apology, not quite ready to accept it quite yet. 

“Your teeth are’nt ugly. They don't stink up the office and make it hard for me to think. I hurt you just like they hurt me.” Habit slowly drug his legs up to his chest. “I am not… a good person. You probably hate me, and thats O.K.”

“Habit, uh. I'm-- I don't. hate you at all. Am I a bit mad? Yeah, yeah a bit. It hurt… a lot when you said all that but I'm willing to work with you to forgive you and help you. We all… uh. We all make mistakes? And sometimes we make big mistakes, and sometimes we think we're horrible people who can't get any better and that everyone hates that would be better off not doing anything.”

“...That sounds like its’ from experience…”

Kamal let out a painful squawk of a laugh. “I mean yeah, you kinda made that clear in that one PSA.”

“Sorry. Shouldn't have mentioned it,” Habit mumbled. “I hurt you. I used your pain to try 2 stop Flower Kid. I hurt Everyone. No-one deserved that. Flower Kid was right 2 get them all out before I...”

“Yeah. You uh. You really went off the deep end there, huh. I'm…” Kamal lowered themself to Habit’s level, hugging their legs in their usual fashion. “I should've stopped you. Shoulda been more like Flower Kid. I should've been able to see that you weren't okay and that you needed some sorta intervention or. Talk or.  _ Something _ . I. I just ran away though. Ran up all those stairs. Away from everything like the coward I am.”

Habit looked up at Kamal a bit. “You were close.”

Kamal blinked. “...Whadaya mean?”

“To stopping me. After Martha’s teeth rusted and all the toothbrushles were gone. You kept on asking me if I was O.K. or if I needed 2 talk. You were a lot like the flourist. I was scared. That is why I made fun of your teeth. I shouldn't have done that. It made everything worse. And now it is all broken.”

Kamal nodded slowly. They didn't realize that they… Didn't completely fuck up. “Well. Uh. Nice thing about broken things is that they can be fixed?”

Habit gave a small smile. 

“I'm sorry, I'm really bad at words.”

Habits smile got a bit bigger and he chuckled silently a few times. “No, that was good. I think I can start trying to fix things.”

Kamal shrunk a bit in embarrassment at the compliment as their cheeks got a bit warm. God, they thought they'd managed to get over their stupid crush but nope. As soon as they realized Habit didn't hate them it sprung back up like a persistent weed. After all these years they would've thought that they had gotten over it.

“Well, if you ever need help fixing things uh, send me an email I guess. We should probably leave though. I turned Martha off but there's still probably way more laughing gas here than is safe.”

“Ah!! But what if I have developd ‘Immunitiez?’” Habit attempted to joke. 

Kamal snorted a bit. “Too soon doc, too soon,” they said, only halfway lighthearted. It was good to see that Habit was feeling a bit better, but also at the same time it  _ was  _ pretty soon.

“Sorry.” Habit sounded sincere but not disheartened, so Kamal counted that as a win. 

* * *

“Kamal!! Kamal!! Come take a looksies at This!! :-D”

Kamal turned away from the x-rays they'd been looking at and found Dr. Habit seated at the office PC, clearly in a good mood. Kamal was incredibly curious about what might be on the screen, the doctor hadn't been this happy in weeks. It was clear all the screaming children were getting to him. 

Kamal read the open page, which was instantly recognizable as Dr. Habit’s work. “Come join the Habitat…” They mumbled out loud. “Wow. Somehow the way you type when you aren't typing something for work looks exactly like how you sound. Honestly I'm not even sure how you do that.”

“:-) It is a Talent.”

Kamal had to admit that it was a fairly well designed web page and that the little GIFs strewn around the thing were cute, but they had no real idea what was going on. 

“Is this thing going to be like, for real? Or are you just writing some sorta abstract digital fiction type thing.”

Dr. Habit laughed. “It will be as ‘real’ as you and me! I had a dream nights ago and ever since I have been busy working 2 make it a reali-tee.”

Kamal continued to scroll, mostly finding placeholder text boxes at that point. “So uh. If you're going to really make this place, um. What'll happen to y'know. The office? And. Uh. Well. Y'know,” Kamal awkwardly pointed at themself with a bit of a grimace. 

“O… I was um,,, hoping u would like 2 join me as my assisty-ant there too.”

Kamal blinked in surprise. “Oooh! I um, yeah that would be kinda cool? I mean as long as it doesn't like, crash and burn. Wouldn't want to suddenly be without a job… Hah. Um. It sounds like a nice change of pace though honestly. Making people happy. That sounds nice.”

Dr. Habit clapped in excitement. “Ah! I'm so pleezed 2 have u a-long 4 this!” He brought his arms out like he was going to hug Kamal, but before they could even react, he shifted to just clasp their hands in his. “I was honest-lee sort of worried. Its’ kind of a Big plan and… Well I don't’nt know. I do’nt think I've ever had such a good friend be-fore.”

Kamal flushed at the sudden physical contact and complement. Friends? Were they really that good of friends? It'd only been about half a year and. Well, the doctor  _ was  _ one of the only people Kamal was out as being nonbinary too and well, he told them he was trans right back but… Friends. Yeah? Maybe. Part of Kamal thought Dr. Habit was messing with them.

“Yeah! Yeah. Um, of course, aaanytime. Thanks, uh. Your hands are warm.”

Kamal internally winced as they said that last bit. It just sort of came out as their brain slowly tried to process anything past their own embarrassment.

Dr. Habit immediately released Kamal’s hands after that comment though. “Ah!! I'm sorr-y. I should have askd be-fore grabbing your hands.”

Kamal quickly waved their hands in front of them to try to dismiss the doctor’s worries, blushing harder than ever before.

“No it was fine! It's fine I didn't mind it at all. I just uh. It was just a comment! I'm uh, sorry it made things awkward it just kinda came out. You can hold my hands whenever you want. IF YOU WANT TO THOUGH YOU DON’T HAVE TO.”

Dr. Habit let out what looked to be a sigh of relief before chuckling a bit in embarrassment. “Ah… Thank u. I will! Keep that in ‘mind.’”

Kamal nodded and let their arms hang by their side, sort hoping Habit would hold one again. He didn't though, and instead the two started talking about the Habitat. Plans, features, the abandoned apartment building Habit found that he somehow had enough money to buy and renovate completely. It was nice, but Kamal couldn't help but think back to when Habit had their hands in his own. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no idea how long this is going to be or where it'll be going but sdmgmsd hopefully i'll post more chapters? im already decently far into the second chapter so. yeah. wish me luck i guess. comment or die.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter.... 2  
from habit's perspective this time bc i wanted to mix things up! see whats up on his side of things  
also fun fact i learned in the middle of writing this chapter- habit's last journal entry where he talks about his dream about the habitat is dated to be 6 years before the events of the game! from now on im going to be writing w that knowledge in mind so if the first chapter's timeline seems a bit off compared to this one thats why.

There was more laughing gas on the ground floor than in the office, and Habit found himself leaning onto Kamal for support. He held their hand like a lifeline, and he could feel just as much pressure from Kamal as they gripped onto him. He ignored the Carlas the best he could, trying his best not to think about them at all as they laughed to give the illusion that the rest of the Habititians had stayed. He just followed Kamal as his brain became fuzzy again and his nausea returned. He had none of those immunities he joked about and had already breathed in way too much of the air. 

Once the two got to the parking lot, Habit was close to passing out. The air wasn't bad here but he would need a while before he felt any better. And probably medical assistance. Kamal led him into the passenger seat of their car.

“When you're feeling better enough to drive and the laughing gas has dispersed a bit more we can come back for your car, but right now? I'm taking you to a hospital because I am not going to let you fucking die.”

Habit nodded silently as he practically fell into the car. Kamal was being very nice. Nicer than he deserved. He didn't quite understand why they were doing it, why they still cared about him. He had done horrible, horrible things. The Habitat in general was a horrible, horrible thing. Didn't they feel betrayed? They'd helped make the place, helped make some of the less shady elements. Figured out where everyone's room would be. Found Wallace to hire as the janitor. They had seemed genuinely excited for the place, almost more excited than Habit himself, but the whole time it had been a coverup for the big event. He'd caused so much harm. 

“Thank-you.” Habit slurred out slowly as the car started driving down the long road into town. 

Kamal glanced at him for a split second before looking back to the road. “It's no problem, I guess. Really the least I could do, don't really want you to drive like that.”

Habit tried to drum his fingertips on the dashboard like he usually did, but he only really was able to softly tap two fingers on the surface softly with no rhythm to it before the motion pittered out. 

“You couldv’e leftd me there. Why did you help?”

Kamal frowned and drummed their fingers on the steering wheel. Their cheeks slowly started to flush as they thought.

“Well I mean. I had t-- OH HOLY SHIT ARE THEY OKAY?”

Habit looked up and out the window to see Flower Kid’s car pulled over haphazardly on the side of the road. 

“Oh god, this is why I waited until I was 20 to get my license. Well, maybe not but. God fuck SHIT are they  _ okay?? _ ”

Habit sunk down into his seat and covered his face with his hands, guilt flaring back up as Kamal pulled over. The door slammed as they left and he winced at the sound, wanting nothing more but to disappear entirely at that point. He thought everything would maybe be fine, maybe finally things would even get better, but now Flower Hero had crashed and it was all his fault and--

“They're okay!!! They're okay. They just pulled over because they noticed they weren't really feeling good enough to safely drive. You should uh, come out. Say hi… Again. I guess. See for yourself.”

Kamal could tell what he was worried about, huh? They were always good at that, despite insisting otherwise. They'd always claimed to be “bad at words” every time they tried to comfort him, same three words, but the way they tried so very hard to help always made Habit feel a thousand times better than any fancy words could’ve. They always had a sort of logical lean to their help, always trying to talk and figure out how to make things better, but half the time it was just the action of talking, the comfort of their voice that was the help. 

Habit nodded and slowly unfolded himself from his jacket, opening the door as he did. 

Flower Kid was just kind of sitting there casually, slowly running their hand through the dirt in a way that reminded Habit of his own unsuccessful tapping. They gave a slow wave and patted the floor next to them.

Habit sat and watched as the kid tried to sign something, but their hands were too fast and shaky for Habit to make anything out. He signed for them to repeat themself a couple times but as that seemed not to help they sighed and took a piece of paper and pen out of their bouquet and wrote a message in the worst handwriting Habit had ever seen.

_ ran ou t of words. kno u kno sign. hnds not wrking. need ride frm kamal _

Habit nodded at Flower Kid with a small smile. “They’ll b happy to I'm sure. You couldv’e just hopped in too the back without saying anything and I'm Sure it would've been fine.”

Flower Kid shrugged and pressed their hands to their forehead. Habit vaguely wondered if that meant they hadn't thought of it or if they were just reacting to their headache. It could've easily been both. 

Habit made the executive decision that the kid needed to be helped to the car and that he was not well enough to be the one to do that. Between the two pulled over cars sat Kamal hugging their legs. 

“Are you O.K.? or just ‘feelin’ it’.”

Kamal looked up at the sound of Habit’s voice. “Hm? Oh yeah I'm fine, just feelin’ it. Well. I mean I guess just as fine as I can be in this weird ass situation. Hah. Uh. What's up?”

Habit silently marveled how quickly the two returned to their usual ways of talking, the usual checks, the usual humor, the usual comforting, they  _ knew _ each other, and although the two had grown distant for a few dangerous weeks, it was amazing how quickly things almost seemed to slide back into their regular tracks once they were together again. 

“Our Flower Friend needs a ride & help to get into the car pro-ba-bly, they weren't able to tell you bee-for going nonverbal again.”

“Yeah I figured that's what happened. God I need to learn sign language, hope I end up actually remembering to like. Actually put in the work to do that.”

“O I can help teech you if u want,” Habit said immediately before realizing that despite how easily it was to talk to them, Kamal probably wasn't going to be keen on spending any more time with him than was necessary. They'd just drive him home and he'd send them an email and they'd respond ever so often when they were feeling good enough to spend the energy required to talk to their evil old boss. 

“Oh! You know… I'm an idiot of course you do. That's why Flower Kid…” They shook their head and started again. “That'd be nice actually uh. Yeah, I'll follow you up on that, remind me again though I  _ will _ forget.”

Habit beamed. “Of corse! I'll put it in the e-mail.”

Kamal's face scrunched up in confusion for a few seconds before they replied. “Oh right! Yeah I said send an email didn't I. Cool. I'm going to go help out the kid now.”

Habit nodded and returned to the car himself, his own headache getting worse from standing up. Soon enough Kamal arrived with Flower Kid gripping onto one of their arms. The kid dramatically sprawled themself onto the row of back seats before Kamal gently urged them to at  _ least _ buckle up, a small smile spreading onto their face. Habit found he was smiling at the sight too, and sort of subconsciously some type of realization awoke within him. 

Kamal sighed and dragged their hands across their face as they finally eased into the driver's seat. 

“Alright. Plan. We go into town, we go to the hospital, you two get checked out.” Kamal looked back to Flower Kid. “I'll call your mom, make sure she knows you're okay. I'm sure the news of the Habitat closing has already reached her. Habit, I'll just chill out for a bit at the hospital and see what's up, drive you home when they dismiss you and! We will all be okay and things will work out, yeah?”

Habit gave a small but hopefully encouraging smile. “Everythings will work out.”

Kamal smiled back and it made Habit want to smile even wider. He stared out the side window with a grin on his face as Kamal started driving again and they made their way to the hospital.

* * *

Habit stared at himself in the small mirror hung up in the bathroom at the office, stared but didn’t really look. He tried to think about the plans for the Habitat, the thought of making people smile instead of scream and run away from him, but that all seemed too far away to be a possibility. He could only think about children crying when he filled in a cavity, or took x-rays, or well… stood over them with any sort of tool in his hands. 

“Oh!” Kamal yelped as they saw Habit in the bathroom, not expecting the sight as they opened the door, clearly in a rush. “Uh, hey doc. Uh... you doing alright?”

“Mmm. Me? I’m O.K.”

Kamal frowned. “Are you sure? I mean I just came in because I’m a dumbass and left my walkman in here but you uh. Don’t look so good.”

Habit tugged on his sleeves and took a few seconds to answer. “Do u think the kids get scared of me because of my teeth?”

Kamal blinked. “Your teeth?”

“The missing 1s. Do u think they r scared that I wo’nt take care of their teeth right?”

“Probably not… It's honestly kinda hard to notice, took me a few weeks, and even then it's not like you're going up to them grinning evilly or anything,” Kamal started. “I think dentists are just scary because we like, look at their mouths with sharp objects and you aren't supposed to move and fluorine tastes like shit and anything more than a typical checkup really hurts...” they began to ramble, sort of losing their comforting tone as they became caught up in their rant before trailing off with a sort of apologetic look.

“Mmm…”

“Sorry that. Probably didn't help at all.”

“Its’ all-right, you tried.” Habit mumbled, walking out of the bathroom and sitting on one of the couches in the waiting room. Instead of leaving like Habit expected, Kamal sat down right next to him after retrieving their walkman from the bathroom. 

Kamal opened their mouth a couple of times like they were going to say something, but they never did. 

“Do u kno why I b-came a dentist?”

“No I uh, don't think you've ever told me.”

Habit was silent for a while, trying to think of what exactly he wanted to share with his assistant. 

“My parents did’nt want me 2 be a florist.”

“Oh. Yeah. Parents want you to be successful but like… Only in a couple ways so y'know. You go to dental school because what the fuck else are you good at? A florist though… That sounds like a really cool job, actually. I probably wouldn’t be too good at it personally but it honestly must be great to go to work in a flower shop. It'd probably smell amazing, much better than this place. Maybe we could put some flowers in the Habitat?”

Habit looked over at the mention of his dream project. He hadn't really expected Kamal to latch on to the idea at all, but now they were suggesting putting flowers in the place because they actually thought that Habit’s old childhood dream of being a florist was cool?

“Hmm, may-b… The place will take much longer to ‘set-up’ than I expected I think but it's definite-lee still in the works!”

Kamal brought their knees up to their chin and smiled. “That's good. It's been a while since you brought it up so I was kinda worried that it was just a… I don't know.”

Habit sighed. “Recently I’ve been verry tired so work has slowed down a-bit.”

Kamal shrugged a bit. “That's to be expected, I guess. And like, it's not like it's going to take two seconds to get everything ready, an entire  _ apartment building  _ will need to be renovated.”

“You're right, thank-you.”

“Mmm you're welcome, I'm just. Sitting here I guess.”

“Well! It is good I en-joy your companie then! :-)”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still dont know what im doing with this but thats okay im just Doing It. comments give me the will to continue so :eyes: perhaps think abt doin that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> accidentally got caught up in the chatroom sections of this chapter WHOOPS. thats why its very long compared to the other two lmao.

Neither Flower Kid nor Habit had any permanent brain damage from the laughing gas by the looks of it, thank god. Kamal paced the hallways of the waiting room for a while before a nurse came up to ask them what exactly happened to the two to try and gauge how much they were exposed. Kamal said something about a leak at the dentist’s office, which wasn't too far removed from what actually happened, but somewhere in the story they let it slip that they were also exposed and the nurse whisked them away for a checkup as well. 

Kamal was released pretty fast, they were pretty much fine, but someone did mention that they probably shouldn't have driven. Whoops. They had a good few hours after being released to continue being anxious, pacing even more and trying to get glimpses of the kid and Habit as the doors to their rooms opened to let someone (specifically not Kamal) in. 

Habit and Flower Kid were finally released after about six hours of waiting for their symptoms to dissipate and make sure all the gas was out of their lungs. Kamal drove them home, just like they said they would, and Flower Kid was first to be dropped off. Their mom, the florist, was out front of the shop when Kamal rolled up and as the kid jumped out she wrapped them up in a large hug.

“Flower! Welcome home! I’m so sorry that the Habitat shut down, did you do what you wanted?”

Flower Kid nodded with a smile, burying themself into her arms. Kamal watched with a smile, glad that the kid was okay.

“And Kamal, thank you so much for taking care of my kid after that gas leak, almost had a heart attack when you called from the hospital but I’m glad they’re alright and that they had someone to get them out of there.”

“Huh? Oh yeah of course, anytime, I guess. Not that this happens a lot or anything.” Kamal replied awkwardly. 

The flourist laughed. “Yeah! Not every day there’s a gas leak at a wellness retreat that just closed down.”

“Yeah. Gas leak. Um! It was nice to see you, glad I could help out.”

“Nice to see you too!”

Kamal sighed as they returned to the car. Conversation with someone they barely knew? Done. The florist was very nice and relatively easy to talk to but it was still always a bit tiring. They didn’t even know her name. 

“Are you O.K.?”

Kamal almost forgot Habit was in the car. “Oh yeah just y’know..!”

“Tired?”

“Yeah.”

“Sorry.”

Kamal glanced at Habit, a bit worried. They couldn't really tell if he blamed himself for their exhaustion or if he was just saying that in an “I'm sorry you have to go through that” way. 

The rest of the ride to Habit’s house was painfully quiet. Kamal tried to turn the radio on at one point, but the sudden loud blast of ads made things ten times worse so they quickly turned it off. What was there to talk about? They were back to being able to casually comment on their own situations together sure, but actual conversation about… Other things? Oh yeah sure, just casually talk about every shitty thing that had happened in the last 24 hours, last week, last month. That’d be great.

Even after everything Habit had said to Kamal, after some of the sincerest apologies they'd ever heard, after he had clearly expressed that he didn't think he was worthy to even be helped out of the Habitat and driven to the hospital, something inside Kamal  _ still  _ had them convinced that he hated them. It made them feel sick. Habit was the one who needed to be told that he wasn't hated! What were they doing, sitting around thinking something that was obviously not true when Habit’s worries were much more understandable and painfully obvious? They felt so guilty for their own feelings, and the longer they were left to sit and rot, the worse they felt. 

Finally the car pulled into Habit’s driveway. Habit slowly stepped out and gave a small wave to Kamal. 

“Thank You. Again. I dont’ know what I would do Without you.”

Kamal waved back with a small smile, squashing their dumb guilt best they could. 

“It's no problem, really. Uhh… Fuck. Email! That’s important. Do that.”

Habt gave a thumbs up while walking backwards to the door. Kamal waited for him to get in the house before departing, just in case, and soon enough they were back home at last.

Kamal's apartment was pretty much the same as when they last saw it when they took a bit of a vacation from the Habitat a month ago. Still, it somehow felt a bit foreign. The air smelled strange, everything was cold, and there was practically no food in any of the cupboards unless you counted flour and rice, condiments were found in the fridge, and a bag of frozen peas that lined the bottom of the freezer for whatever reason. Kamal's stomach rumbled. They did not want to eat peas and rice with ketchup for dinner. They shivered at the thought. Almost as bad as Jimothan’s “food.”

Shuffling into their room, Kamal wanted nothing more than to just collapse onto their bed. They were still too hungry to sleep though, so they decided to boot up their computer while ordering some pizza. 

One pizza ordered and a lot of waiting later, Kamal opened their email. They weren't really expecting Habit to have already sent an email at that point, but it was worth a look. They also weren't expecting was an email from Flower Kid, but that's what they got. How did the kid even get Kamal's email address? 

**Hi Kamal!! <3**

**i know we just saw each other but!!! I’m making a chatroom for all the ex-habititians!! nice and fun and exciting!! :3c!!! uhh here’s the link idk what else to say here haha. hope to see you!!!**

Oh okay. Huh. Kamal wasn't really sure what they were expecting, but this was relatively manageable. They could deal with a chatroom as long as they didn't start endlessly reading backlogs from whenever they were offline. Yeah, they could deal with it. 

**> User joined**

**fk: !!! **

**fk: whos this**

**fk: wait let me guess. say something.**

**User: w**

**fk: kamal**

**User: how tf could you tell after a Single Letter**

**fk: WAIT I WAS RIGHT???**

**fk: lucky fucking guess holy SHIT!!**

**User: are you allowed to swear**

**fk: im 16 :/**

**User: wow yeah illegal.**

**kamal: anyways i have a name now**

**fk: congrats. one more than me. **

**fk: anyways! welcome again to my gremlin hole >:3c**

**wall man: i should copyright that. gremlin hole. **

**kamal: arent gremlins already copywrited **

**wall man: well hello to you too kamal no need to be so rude **

**kamal: sigh. hello wallus my dear and good friend whom i am very happy to see in this chatroom**

**wall man: nvm go back to being rude**

**kamal: ok loser**

**kamal: anyways kid. you going to moderate all 24 of us by yourself?**

**fk: *23**

**fk: and idk if some of the younger kids will be able to join**

**fk: but i mean im pretty sure i can trust all you**

It was going alright! Kamal was just having a nice calm conversation with friends. Not too many people were on and they could read things without getting overwhelmed. Except. Wait. That was a DM notification wasn't it. 

**wall man: 24**

**kamal: what are you saying. w**

**wall man: you included habit in that**

**kamal: and?**

**wall man: BRO**

**wall man: i talked to fk about what happened ** ** _he stole some of their teeth? _ **

**kamal: well yeah but**

**kamal: um. **

**kamal: p sure they forgave him for that. they're on like, okay terms. **

**kamal: idk!!! i just thought they might've invited him too**

**kamal: i mean it makes sense they didn't i was just doing some quick math in my head. **

**wall man: you haven't gotten over him have you**

**kamal: I literally just said 24 instead of 23 **

**wall man: fk also told me abt the whole carpool thing**

**kamal: WHAT**

**kamal: RUDE**

**wall man: they didn't say that much dw!**

**wall man: they were just kinda confused abt you two suddenly being friends**

**wall man: i mean i am too a bit but**

**kamal: he made a rly sincere apology**

**wall man: ** ** _anyways_ **

**wall man: told them you've known each other for years n that things only went sour a few months ago**

**wall man: also told them abt ur crush**

**kamal: WHAT? WHY…**

**wall man: cuz it’s a dumb crush you've had for literal years**

**wall man: also i was a bit pissed abt my quitting buddy forgiving habit so quickly. that's not how unions are made. **

**wall man: sry i… really shouldntve done that. **

**kamal: nnnng ur fine im obvious abt it anyways **

**kamal: doubt they'll do anything abt it anyways. i don't think they care about old person romance drama**

**wall man: well since you seem to be taking everything relatively well i can go back to being a homophobe and bullying you about your dumb gay crush**

**kamal: bro you can't be a homophobe we dated for a month and idk that's kinda gay :/**

**wall man: …**

**wall man: I FORGOT ABOUT THAT**

**kamal: LOL**

**kamal: i don't blame you we only barely held hands. still haven't had my first kiss. **

**wall man: wait forreal**

**wall man: brb don't go anywhere im coming over to give you a bro kiss**

**kamal: never say that again i will kill you**

**wall man: love ya too**

**wall man: anyways.**

**wall man: if u peruse this…**

**kamal: do you rly think i can do things**

**wall man: i said IF**

**wall man: just. be careful man**

**wall man: don’t be an idiot, don’t let ur crush cloud ur view of him. love can be blinding. **

**wall man: i care abt you n if he ever hurts you like that again i swear**

**kamal: yeah i know**

**kamal: thanks**

**kamal: i guess**

**kamal: uh. pizzas here. ttyl **

**wall man: o/**

**wall man: see ya**

Pizza was not, in fact, there yet, but Kamal’s mood had kind of been completely ruined by that conversation. They didn’t blame Wallus for that, god no he was a great friend, but still they slunk onto their bed and stared at the ceiling, feeling like an idiot. 

Six years was a very. Very stupidly long time to be stuck with a crush. Was it six years? Kamal didn’t really know when to start counting. They’d known Habit for a bit longer than that though, so it was probably a decent guess. God. That was too long. As time had passed they’d become more and more okay with just staying friends, they’d accepted that Habit probably didn’t reciprocate their feelings at all, and they appreciated the strong platonic bond they’d formed anyways. Sure, occasionally they’d sort of halfway vent to Wallus about their feelings, but they were  _ okay _ . 

For some reason though, now it felt like it was just like when they first realized they had a crush on Habit again. And  _ god  _ was that painful. It was even more painful realizing that Wallus was right. The crush could very easily make them ignore warning signs and get them in trouble. But also… They really didn't like how thinking like that made it sound like Habit was an accident waiting to happen. God they felt sick. Why couldn't they just be  _ over  _ all this?

Finally, Kamal's pizza actually did come. The knock on the door blessedly kicked them out of their spiral and the act of gaining nutrience slowly improved their mood a bit. They opened the chatlog again and opened up another DM.

**kamal: hey can you do me a favor? it's totally okay if you say no, don't want to bog you down with my issues or anything**

**fk: why do you think i joined the habitat? hmu im a favor doing machine**

**kamal: don't get urself too deep into more favors than you can handle**

**fk: i won't i promise!!!**

**kamal: mm ok**

**kamal: wallus told you about my crush right**

**fk: yea lol**

**fk: u wanna be wrapped in those big green arms of habit cuz ur GAY**

**kamal: this was a mistake**

**kamal: god i just thought of another favor ok. we’ll do that one first bc it's easier**

**fk: fine by me**

**kamal: ok just like. when u see me around him lmk how obvious i am afterwards. i die wondering this every day of my life**

**fk: if it makes you feel better one of the nurses thought u were habits partner**

**kamal: it absolutely does not but thank you im going to cry from mixed feelings**

**fk: that's what im here for**

**kamal: did the nurse misgender at least one of us though..? i kinda want to know if there was actually a gay rights nurse. **

**fk: unfortunately no gay rights nurse**

**kamal: eugh ok thanks. no specifics pls**

**fk: yeah ofc. you don't really need to know what ur hospital assigned gender is getting one once is hard enough**

**kamal: god. yeah. **

**kamal: okokok second favor. ugh now that im typing it it sounds stupid bc im p sure you'd already do this but i need you to like. say you will for shitty brain reasons. **

**kamal: if like,, you see that my crush might be making our relationship toxic or anything can you like. pull me aside and maybe snap me out of it?**

**kamal: also again if u don't want to get involved pls pls know that's ok**

**fk: wallus talked to you abt it huh**

**fk: ofc though i mean idk how good ill be at it considering i have like 0 relationship experience but like… that's what friends are for. n wallus is looking out for you too dw. we're here for ya. **

**kamal: tysm kid that makes me feel. a lot better. **

**kamal: dunno how ya do it. you should become a professional favor doer **

**fk: i’m already a flower delivery kid. it's close enough **

**kamal: if you say so**

* * *

Kamal stepped into the office and sighed. They were there about an hour later than they usually were but the lights were still off and the room was almost as ice cold as it was outside. The doctor was sick, and so no dentistry would be happening that day. 

Curling up into the chair at the desk, Kamal waited for both the heater and computer to boot up. It would be a slow morning, but at least all they had to do was reschedule the appointments that were supposed to happen that day. It was probably a job better suited for the secretary, but Kamal didn't mind it and often offered to cover for her. She deserved the rest. 

It was still so strange to Kamal that when Doctor Habit was out the whole little town was down half their choices for dental health. The other office was way over on the other side of town and only had one doctor too. It boggled Kamal’s city-wired brain. Things just… Stopped sometimes. If there was a snowstorm. If someone was sick. If people drove for ten hours to see once in a lifetime natural phenomena. It was kind of nice though, made everything seem more connected. In the city you were just one in an endless crowd. Here you could see how one person could affect the whole small ecosystem. Kamal liked the crowds of the city, they grew up in them, but this was also nice. It was nice. 

After phone calls were made and schedules filled, Kamal sat back and let themself wonder vaguely if Doctor Habit was doing okay. He was probably not dying, Kamal was pretty sure of that. It was a friday, and so it was very likely that the doctor had just gotten burnt out by the end of the week. Mental health was very important, and by the way he'd been sort of just floating around recently Kamal figured it was good he took a day off.

When Kamal left the office they could still see their breath as they breathed, solidifying their suspicion that turning on the heater just pointlessly upped the electricity bill. Great. Their teeth chattered as they drove home and the idea of curling up in a blanket with a cup of tea sounded like heaven, but once they got close to the doctor’s neighborhood, they were tempted to make a small visit. Just to make sure Habit was alright. 

Kamal's immediate response to the idea was to scorn how unprofessional that would be. They had the day off, they shouldn't be spending it with their boss, but also… Habit had said that they were friends, right? So if they visited just as a friend… 

Waiting on the porch for Habit to answer the door almost had Kamal rolled up into a ball with nerves. They weren't supposed to be there. In fact… Wait. Was this even the right house? No it was right, there was a stack of small flower pots out front. But still. Habit didn't want any visitors he was  _ sick,  _ what were they  _ doing? _

The door opened very slowly to reveal a very miserable looking Habit, but Kamal jumped in surprise anyways. 

Habit blinked in confusion. “...Kamal?”

Kamal died instantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhh yeah flashback part is kinda short and doesnt say much but thats bc its setting up chapter four. might change the "kamal died instantly" part later sdMGSDM its what i get for always writing while half asleep.  
also you can find me on tumblr @bikamal currently. i change my url a lot tho so uh. yeah


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! welcome to the internalized homophobia chapter. there's a few mentions of transphobia, homophobia, and abuse in here so stay safe.  
also i kinda forgot about lily for the last few chapters so just uh. imagine habit was carrying him around in a pot for that whole time sdmgsmd

Being sick was an absolutely miserable experience, even if the symptoms were probably that of depression more than a stomach bug or the flu. Habit still considered it bad enough to close the office, but he figured if anyone found out the true nature of his sickness he'd be forced to work anyways. Even if he owned the office. Everyone would still think he was weak. 

Plans for the Habitat were at least something Habit could somewhat rely on to make him feel better. If thinking up plans for the place could lift his spirits than the actual Habitat would be sure to give everyone their smiles! It was just science. 

The biggest thing Habit had to sort out at the moment was the device that would help trigger the Big Event. The Event was why the Habitat was being created after all, the grand finale that would rid the world of its frowns. It had to have a theme, it had to be friendly, it had to be inspiring. 

Ah, a smiling mouth would be perfect! Modeled after someone with a perfect smile… Habit digged deep into his memory.

Martha! The girl had always had a mocking attitude towards him back when he was in elementary school, but she had an objectively perfect smile. And like his mother always said, “she's making fun of you because she likes you. You're lucky to even have a _ girl _ like you. You should be grateful.”

And so he was. He liked her for her perfect teeth, and so he would create a giant machine in that image. Yes, Martha the machine would help him rid the world of frowns, just as the original Martha had smiled because of him. 

Habit hummed a bit in satisfaction as he drew up designs for the machine. As he continued, however, a sinking feeling began to settle in his stomach as his thoughts continued. Something about the whole Martha thing seemed wrong, but the thought that it might be wrong made him feel worse. That would mean that Martha wasn't really… 

He didn't need any more bad childhood memories, so he clinged onto the twisted image of Martha he'd constructed in his head. All the energy Habit had mustered up to work on his plans had worn off though, so his miserable condition returned despite his efforts to think positively. 

A knock on the door a good 10 minutes into Habit sinking back into his couch once again snapped him out of it just a bit. A blanket draped over his shoulders, he slowly shuffled to the door, not really knowing what to expect.

Habit was most definitely not expecting the most nervous looking Kamal he had seen in his entire life, which was very nervous considering how nervous Kamal was on a good day. 

“...Kamal?”

Kamal let out a groan as they seemed to shrink into themself before cringing and blurting out “UHH IjustwantedtocheckuponyouI’msorryifI’mintrudingI’llleaveimmediatelyI’msorrysorrysorrys--”

Habit cut them off. “Huh? No, you're fine. Would u like to come 

In?”

“If it's… Alright with you?” Kamal asked warily.

“Im’ not contagious. And some company would b nice.”

“Uh! Okay! Yeah!”

Habit smiled in relief. “I’ll make us some tea.”

Kamal shook their head. “Aaabsolutely not, you look terrible. I'll make it. You can just direct me from the couch.”

Habit blinked, not expecting Kamal's small act of kindness. “O.K., the tea is in the cup board to the left of the sink…”

A few minutes later, the two were sitting on the couch with mugs in their hands. 

“Thank You for the tea.”

“Ah don't worry about it, you're sick.”

Habit hummed sort of dejectedly, keenly aware that he was not sick in the way Kamal probably thought. 

“These your sketchbooks?”

Habit looked up in surprise, not expecting the interest. “O yeah!! Um, I was working on some stuff for the Habitat earlier that Im’ not ready to Show yet but I have some other drawings I can show if u would like too see!”

Kamal gave Habit a small smile. “I didn’t know you were an artist.”

Habit chuckled a bit in embarrassment and flipped through the nearest sketchbook to a page of half-decent doodles. “Ah… I’m not a ‘professional’ or any-thing. I just do it 4 fun.”

“Better than what I can do probably,” Kamal said with a shrug. 

Habit handed the sketchbook over nervously. He’d said that he didn’t want to show the other drawings, but there wasn’t anything that would really prevent Kamal from flipping through it.

The silence that emerged because of Kamal’s concentration on the drawings seemed to last forever as Habit waited for them to turn a page. Thankfully, it never happened.

“These are little self portraits, right? I love how you drew your ponytail, it’s really fluffy and nice. Just like uh. Your real hair.” Kamal shook their head. “Nevermind, you know what I mean. Your style is really nice, it's really approachable and fun. It's uh, a nice reflection of your more goofy side I guess? Always liked that about you.”

Habit flushed at the compliments, he wasn’t really expecting much. “Thank-you… I did’nt really know you liked my ‘goofy side.’”

“Really? That’s what makes work worth it..! Uh, yeah! I dunno, you’re just, y’know. I… don’t really know where I was going with that.”

“Its’ O.K. Words can b hard sometimes.”

“Yeeaah, hah. I’m real bad at words.”

“It’s Okey!” Habit awkwardly repeated, hoping that his reassurances were working.

“Yeah. Uh, fuck. I… I really shouldn’t’ve stayed this long. I’ll uh, go and get out of your hair, sorry.” 

Habit wanted desperately to tell Kamal it was okay to stay, but he really didn’t want to inconvenience them with his sadness. They’d already done a lot to distract him, he didn’t want to end up dumping everything on them. They'd looked so distressed too, it was probably best to let them go. 

* * *

Flicking on the lights in his sad little house, Habit sighed. The walls were horribly blank and lifeless compared to the ones in the Habitat and reminded him of the sorry state he was in when he left. And the sorry state he was in at the moment. Ah. Being alone allowed him to finally assess himself. What he found was… Not great. 

First of all was the disgusting feeling in his mouth left from the extra teeth he had shoved into every little pocket he could without losing the ability to speak. Along with the ones between his gums, he had painstakingly wedged an entire row of extras between his clenched teeth, biting down on them to keep them in. When he'd finally opened his mouth to let them go he had almost swallowed one. Thank god he didn't get far enough in his plans to actually glue them in his mouth. Still, what he had done had left lingering pain and discomfort and the almost nightmarish memory of spitting out endless teeth once it was all over. Not to mention the complex web of uncomfortable feelings that surrounded the action of haphazardly putting loose teeth into the holes left behind by his missing ones. 

Second of all, there was still some lingering effects from the laughing gas. At that point it had just left him a small headache and a bit of nausea, but it was enough to sour his mood even more.

Third was, well. He'd been in a bad place for a long, long time. It looked like things would get better but for now he was just… Tired. 

At least he had his Lily, miraculously recovered from the depths of his childhood memories by Flower Kid themself. Now that he was alone, he could finally sit down and appreciate Lily’s presence again.

Planting a soft kiss on each of Lily’s petals, Habit felt tears slowly roll off his face as he poured out the affection that had been locked up deep in his heart for so long. And Lily… he bloomed from the attention. This was how one took care of a lily grown from the erythronium plant after all, and Habit was one of the only ones with that knowledge. He was glad to have him back. 

Wait, him?

Habit frowned as he noticed that detail. He'd always used he pronouns for Lily, even back when he was a child. Was it projection, maybe? Somehow that didn't seem right. It was more in a… 

Oh. 

Oh wait. 

“Can trans people be gay?” Habit quietly asked Lily. Now that he had said it out loud he felt silly for not realizing it before. 

Habit wracked his memory for any sort of confirmation as doubt creeped into his mind, fueled by the years and years of everything around him stating otherwise. 

Parsley. Parsley Botch. 

Habit could remember him venting about his dad once.

“I can't just go talk to him! He’ll make me talk to sports and join the girls team!” He had let out a sort of sad laugh at that. “Hah yeah! Join the girls team! Nah. Not anymore, he's actually gotten better about that. Still expects me to be interested in sports ‘n girls because of it though.”

Parsley was trans… Habit knew this. Parsley had never said it outright, but to Habit it was pretty obvious from that little paragraph alone. Parsley was gay too, obviously. Everyone knew that… Except Jimmothan, unless Flower Kid was able to patch that up as well. Parsley was gay _ and _ trans. Habit had just never made the connection. 

And Kamal, they--

Oh. 

_ Oh. _

Kamal. 

Oh no. 

Habit almost dropped Lily as the realization hit him. He was in love with Kamal. He had been for… _ so long _ . And he never even realized. As he realized he even had the _ capability _ to love them a wave of suppressed emotions erupted from him. It was like nothing he had ever felt. It was _ nothing _ like his “crush” on Martha. All of the women he’d convinced himself he had liked out of obligation in college were _ nothing _compared to Kamal.

Kamal…

Was there _ any _ possibility that they liked him back? Habit hid his face behind Lily’s pot. He felt like a kid experiencing their first crush, but considering what was preventing him from ever feeling that before, he guessed that was fair. It had been years since Habit met Kamal though, so it was likely that if they had ever had feelings for him, they would've given up on it at that point.

Well, it was nice to know that that was why he was a complete mess around them. Ah… Looking back on everything with this new lens was pretty embarrassing. There were so many little things that he did that he didn't even realize… He didn't know it was possible at the time.

“What now?” Habit asked Lily absently. “I cant’ just… Tell them. No. I'm not even that sure that I-- Actually never mind I am Very sure. Still, we're only Barely bee-coming friends again, I don't want too ruin it all again.”

Lily swayed gently and Habit smiled. He missed this. He missed having the excuse to just talk. His puppet served a similar purpose, but most of the time he spoke through it, not to it. Lily provided a comfort Habit had almost forgotten about. 

Habit figured he had to do _ something _about this. Eventually. Maybe he’d ask Flower Kid for advice during their coffee “date” that would maybe happen. The kid had his email address, so hopefully they’d be able to set things up if they wanted. 

Oh that was right! Kamal wanted ASL lessons. Habit didn’t really know how to teach but… maybe he could find some stuff online? Either way, he’d have to send that email. Maybe drafting it then would be a good idea. 

**Deer Kamal :-)**

Habit had started so many emails to Kamal like that, but only now did he realize how embarrassingly gay it was. He almost changed it, but he figured Kamal had gotten so many emails like that and at that point it didn’t really matter. 

**Im’ going to do some “Resurch” in the next week into how to properly teech ASL, but I’m sure soonish I’ll bee able to teach some of the basics! Let Me Know when u would like to meet up, I am free whenever :-D!**

** **\- Habit <3** **

Ah no, the heart was too much. Habit deleted it and saved the email to his drafts. Tomorrow. That’s when he would send it.

Tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no i did not forget about too many teeth this was the plan all along. its based off a stress dream i got right after playing the game. is that healthy? idk. leave a comment down below and say what you think /j  
also i think this fic may count as slow burn. sorry.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still not a lot of habit n kamal interaction in the present day section at least this chapter but i hope what i did put in makes up for it! i've been wanting to put it in for a while :-)

Kamal collapsed onto their ugly green couch without much thought as they returned home from a busy day. 

At least they had a job now. Dental assistant. Again. At their old rival dental practice, which was a bit awkward. They'd been cursed to a life of cleaning teeth the moment they first found out how fucked up their jaw was. Their frequent dentist and later orthodontist visits had led to lots of jokes about how they could probably work there. And then when they actually had to decide what to do in life, that'd been all they could think of that their parents would approve of. Now they would clean teeth again and they didn't even have a cute boss that probably illegally collected extracted teeth in a secret-ish jar behind the toothbrushes, floss, and small plastic toys for the kids. 

“I need a hobby,” Kamal muttered into the cushion their face was smushed against. 

Suddenly, Kamal’s head snapped up. Was that… The sound of someone eating? It was most definitely coming from his apartment, and considering he didn't have any roommates anymore that was concerning.

Turning around to look at the kitchen, Kamal saw, well, they saw _ something _. 

“_TIM TAM? _ How the hell did you get in here?”

Tim Tam popped a whole pringle into their mouth and chewed for a good thirty seconds before replying.

“Window.”

“We're on the third story how did you--” Kamal shook their head. “Actually nevermind you've done more impossible things. The real question is why are you here and why are you eating all my pringles?”

“Parents bad at parenting. Hungry.”

Kamal thought back to when Tim Tam had been dropped off at the Habitat. They could definitely see that being the case. “Yeah, okay. That’s fair but uh. Why did you break into… my place specifically?”

Tim Tam looked at Kamal like they were an idiot. “You're good at parenting.”

Kamal went silent for a few seconds. “_ Me? _A good parent? Since. Since when?”

Tim Tam looked down, their usual unwavering confidence breaking. “Since… The roof. You took care of me. No one's done that before.”

Kamal breathed out a silent “oh” and watched as Tim Tam slowly made their way over to them and gave them a stiff but sincere hug. Kamal, not expecting this, quickly but awkwardly hugged them back. 

“Aaaaalright alright okay. I'm going to have to call Parsley before I get in legal trouble for all this but. I. I think this can work out. You're going to have to help me a bit though, okay? I'm pretty new to this uh, please tell me if you need anything or if I'm doing anything wrong or…”

Tim Tam gave them a small nod and the smallest of smiles. “Okay.”

Kamal sighed in relief with a smile of their own before picking up the phone to dial up Parsley to explain the whole getting adopted by Tim Tam thing. 

* * *

It was only a few days before Kamal found themself lying on the couch with Tim Tam snuggled against them, intently watching their favorite cartoon. It was a nice scene and Kamal was starting to think that maybe they _ could _ pull off being a parent, but suddenly their eyes widened as they remembered something.

“Shit.” 

Oh no, they probably shouldn't swear as much as they usually did in front of Tim Tam.

_ “Fuck.” _

Tim Tam looked back at Kamal with a questioning hum while they were trying to figure out how to unsay fuck. Kamal blinked as they realized Tim Tam had noticed their obvious freakout.

“Agh, sorry kiddo. I just remembered that I never replied to an email I got about a week ago, it's fine.”

Tim Tam hopped down from the couch and gestured towards the computer. 

“Oh, okay. I was going to wait until we were done watching but--”

“You'll forget.”

“...Yeah okay you're right about that. You can keep watching while I do this if you want, I know how much you like this show.”

Tim Tam shrugged and followed Kamal to the computer. “Rerun.”

Kamal smiled and sat down. To their surprise Tim Tam climbed up onto their lap, but there were no complaints. Kamal opened the email in question. 

“God alright. Here we go.”

“From Habit,” Tim Tam observed. 

“Mmhmm…” 

“Scared?”

Kamal sputtered at the unexpected question. “Well not really _ scared _ at all I mean I just--”

“Embarrassed.” Tim Tam concluded with a solemn nod. 

Kamal felt their cheeks blush immediately at that comment and they fought to keep their cool. They were the adult in the room and absolutely NOT getting worked up over that. Besides, there were other reasons they hadn’t responded immediately. Maybe Tim Tam was right the first time.

“_ Anyways, _Habit offered to come over to teach me some sign language sometime soon so I can actually communicate to Flower Kid properly. Do you think you might want to sit in and try to learn it yourself?”

“Already understand them.”

“Oh, you already know sign language?”

Tim Tam shook their head. “Other ways.”

Kamal figured that made sense. The two had a lot in common, they wouldn't be surprised if the two had some sort of silent understanding of each other. “That's fair, it's a good skill to have anyways though. And maybe you'll find it useful for communicating in general? Who knows, I think it's worth a shot though.”

Tim Tam’s silence became thoughtful. “Maybe.”

Kamal smiled. “Alright, let me know if you make up your mind.”

Tim Tam nodded and hopped off Kamal. “Finish writing.” 

“I will! Don't worry.”

Tim Tam smiled slightly and turned to go back to watching cartoons.

Kamal turned back to their email. Just a confirmation, an apology for the late reply, and done. That was it. They could send it and get it over with. That was pretty easy. 

Confident after one successful bit of online interaction, Kamal idly opened up Flower Kid’s group chat. 

**Stop changing my name to other herbs (Oregano): I’m not trying to get with my ex.**

**Tiff: You sure? I'm pretty sure I'm the one you cried to after getting drunk on root beer, you mentioned Martin a lot more than I'd expect from someone who's supposedly over their ex. **

**kamal: oh hey what's going on in here**

**Stop changing my name to other herbs (Oregano): Tiff’s trying to get me to brush my hair.**

**Tiff: It's seriously disgusting. I know you don't brush it to make sure girls aren't into you and yes it's ** ** _definitely _ ** **working but you've gotta think about how maybe that's why you're not getting any dates from people you actually want to date you. Men. **

**kamal: oh yeah as an official person who is attracted to guys in a gay way? please please wash it or something i’m going to cry you're pretty attractive but ur hairs so fucking ugly. **

**Stop changing my name to other herbs (Oregano): Thanks Kamal I can always count on you to be slightly attracted to me. **

**Stop changing my name to other herbs (Oregano): Can we talk about something else?**

**Stop changing my name to other herbs (Oregano): Oh yeah Kamal, how's Tim Tam doing?**

**kamal: oh things are going a lot better than expected honestly! they're just on the couch watching cartoons rn. it's pretty chill. not sure what i really expected but y’know. anxiety and such. **

**Stop changing my name to other herbs (Oregano): That's good, I'm busy working out adoption papers and shit so don't worry about that end of things. **

**kamal: if there's one thing you should know about me is that I always worry. thanks tho, you're a lifesaver.**

**Tiff: Oh Kamal, you're adopting Tim Tam?**

**kamal: more like they're adopting me**

**kamal: but yeah i am, it's a lot less chaotic than you'd imagine actually…. well. so far. It’s only been a couple of days**

**Tiff: Well that's good, they haven't stolen anything yet?**

**kamal: unless you count food no. it's only a matter of time before they do, but they've given things up to me in the past so i think they probably trust me more than most. **

**Tiff: Oh yeah, I remember when they stole my extra pair of sunglasses and you ran all the way down to the lounge to give them back. I can't really imagine anyone better to take care of them. **

**kamal: oh thank you! that's actually rly sweet..**

**kamal: how's putunia?**

**Tiff: She never runs out of energy I swear. She's really sweet though I'm glad I'm able to take care of such a good kid. **

**Tiff: Once Millie’s mom gets back from that work trip I'm sure the place will become less like an extended sleepover extravaganza palace though, which’ll be nice. **

**kamal: oh yeah that's right, ms. coulro is out of the country**

**kamal: jeez what a predicament that is. hopefully she doesn't ever have to do anything like that again.**

**Tiff: Yeah… God, I can't imagine how she felt when she had to choose between losing her already shitty job and sending her kid to the Habitat for the summer. **

**Tiff: At least Dr. Habit’s familiarity probably was able to calm her nerves a bit. Not that things didn't get worrying near the end there. **

**kamal: yeahhh**

**Tiff: By the way, are you still in contact with the Doctor?**

**kamal: um.**

**kamal: yes**

**Tiff: If you get the chance, could you let him know I’d like to see him again? I’d really like to see if he's doing any better, last time I saw him he was pretty miserable. He's such a sweet guy, it's hard to see him like that.**

**kamal: oh yeah you were trying to quit after i got fired huh? i can definitely see him taking that poorly. that whole thing was a mess, poor guy. **

**kamal: i’ll let him know though!**

**kamal: actually i’ll send him an email right now before i forget. **

**kamal: i saw him right after uh. the big event. i think things might start to get better. **

**Tiff: Oh that's good. You've always been such good friends with him before… Well you know. I wish you luck with everything, getting to a point where you can forgive him will be hard and things just might not work out. Please know that you can come to me if you ever need support with this whole thing.**

**kamal: yeah, thank you so so much. it's good to know i have friends behind me. **

**Tiff: Of course, any time. **

* * *

“Oh wow, this place is huge.”

“Per-fect, isn't it?”

“I mean I don't know what most wellness retreats are like, but yeah, it's pretty amazing, if not a bit run down.”

Habit walked forwards to the huge front doors of the future Habitat and looked back at Kamal with a hand over his cheeky grin. “Well, that's why ‘we're’ here, isnt’ it? :-3”

Kamal looked away as they felt their cheeks grow warm. They were really doing this, weren't they? It'd been a year since Habit had brought the whole thing up in the first place, and simultaneously it felt like so much had happened while so little had actually changed. At that point, Kamal had begrudgingly accepted that they had a horrible, huge, embarrassing crush on their very own boss. Why else would they have followed him through on this?

Well, it wasn't like any other aspect of their life was as interesting.

Following Habit through the massive front doors, Kamal realized that the place wasn't just a bit run down, it was a lot run down. The tile flooring in the foyer had so many cracks in it that it looked like a huge piece of shattered glass. Bright green stemsmade their way between the cracks and it wasn't hard to imagine that by summer the whole area would be impossible to traverse. The giant windows to the left and right were all bare of glass, and it looked like the previous owners had picked the place clean of anything that could be considered furniture.

“We have… A lot of work to do.” 

“Well that's the fun part, is’nt it?” 

“Um, not really but...”

Habit chuckled. “Your right, not really. N-e-ways, I was thinking that because this floor is so very broken we could just get Rid of it all & replace it with grass. We do’nt really need much of a main lobby, so it can b a courtyard.”

“Hm, yeah. That could work. Probably would be less expensive too.”

“All-ways looking out for cost, you're good like that. Would u like to go up and see the apartments?”

Kamal side eyed the stairwell nervously, not really excited to experience how grimy a run down stairwell could get when ones in functioning buildings were already so gross. They did want to see what the apartments were like though, so they braced themself and followed Habit up. 

“God I hate stairwells god I hate stairwells god I hate--” Kamal's mutters as they climbed the musty stairs were cut off by Habit as he looked back in concern. 

“Are u afraid of Heights, Kamal? We do’nt have to go up if you're un-comfortable.”

Kamal shook their head. “Nonono I don't care about heights, it's just stairwells. We'll be through eventually and I'll be fine at the top.”

Habit turned back looking unconvinced, but soon enough they were on the first floor of the apartments.

“Here they r!! 6 rooms per floor, 5 floors, and a max-i-mum capacity of 30!”

Kamal nodded as they made their way towards the railing and peered down to the first floor and then up to the skylight past the other four floors. Then the railing snapped a bit under their weight and Kamal leaped back and hugged the wall. 

“Um, would u like to go up to see the roof or r u done with heights for 2day?”

Kamal's voice cracked as they recovered from the scare, heart pounding. “N-no, no, it's fine. We can go look.”

“If u say so,” Habit responded warily.

A lot more stairs later, Habit and Kamal were panting on the roof. Kamal had practically ran up, trying to get past the long stairwell as fast as possible, and Habit had no choice but to follow. 

The view was all worth it though, it went far off into the horizon in three directions. The small town they had come from nestled in the foothills to the east, and the mountains to the west. The air was crisp and tinged with a warning of spring snowfall, sunny and warm with a cold breeze from the north. 

Kamal laughed as they caught their breath and took in the sight. “Well doc, I think I've found my favorite place. Definitely worth the hike up here.”

Habit smiled at Kamal, looking pleased. “U think?”

“Yeah, I dunno. I guess I've always liked open spaces. At the very least I don't like being cramped. Might just be the contrast between the stairwell but hey!”

“I'm glad u like it! Very pleesed.”

Kamal looked down bashfully, hiding their flustered smile. “Ah well y'know…”

Habit moved behind Kamal casually, an inch away from putting his hands on their shoulders before bringing them back down to his sides. 

“No, I don't reely know, but I'll take you're word.” Habit said jokingly. “I was thinking may-b we could put some of those Pool Chairs & umbrellases out, for the summer at least. This would b a good place 2 get some sun.”

Kamal looked up and backwards at Habit, grinning stupidly before their head snapped back down from laughing at how they must look. 

“I think that's a really good idea. You think we could grow some vines around that railing on the balcony to the right? I don't know much about plants but I know you're interested in them so…”

Habit clapped excitedly and rolled forwards onto his toes. “Yes! Thank You Kamal! :-D! Oh, that's a gre-at idea! U r so smart, I didn't even realize you remembered that about me :’-)”

Kamal blushed harder than they thought was possible at Habit’s reaction. They took a few seconds to calm down and pretend like they didn't have a huge gay freakout and instead were appropriately, heterosexually flattered. “Ah jeez, of course I remembered. You've got all these amazing little talents it doesn't take much for me to want to y'know, support you in all that ‘n be interested in it with you.” Okay, maybe not that heterosexual.

“Oh Kamal, your’e the bestest assisty-ant I could ever ask for!” Habit dragged Kamal into a spontaneous hug, and Kamal silently beat away the thought that Habit might like them as more than just a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i absolutely love tiff and im so glad i was able to include her in this chapter. ALSO I LOVE TIM TAM! im excited to write more of them
> 
> hate asking for comments at the end of every chapter but it seems to work uh. please please comment it seriously makes my day n helps me know that im not just throwing this all into a void haha.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *slaps the roof of this chapter* this bad boy can fit so much goddamn words

Habit stared at his cup of coffee while he waited for Flower Kid to arrive at the cafe they had agreed to meet at, he didn't really know why he even bought the coffee. He'd never liked coffee no matter how much sugar was dumped into it and it was a hot summer day, so holding it for warmth was out of the question. He should've at least gotten an iced coffee. Since he'd suggested coffee to the kid though, he felt like he was under some sort of obligation to get what he suggested. 

Flower Kid arrived on their bike, breathing heavily and signing a quick apology as they sat down. 

“Oh no! Its’ all-right! U r a buisie person.” Habit cleared his throat a bit. “I… Got you a ‘coffee,’” he lied. He didn't want to waste any perfectly good food. 

_ Thank you _ , the kid signed. _ How have you been? _

“Um! Fine… Its’ hard to get adjusted back but… It looks like things will be all-right!”

Flower Kid gave him a thumbs up and a grin before asking, _ Have you contacted any of the ex-Habititians? _

Habit winced at that question. “Not… Reely. Only Kamal, but onlee b-cause we, u kno, talkd about it.”

_ That's fine! They're a good first step. From what I've heard, I think it's good you two are trying to make up. If you need any help getting in contact with anyone else let me know! I've been in contact with just about everyone. _

“I’ll… Keep that In Mind.” Habit cleared his throat. “Umn, what exactlee have u heard about me and Kamal though?”

Flower Kid sat there in thought for a few seconds, a lot longer than Habit would expect from that question. _ Mostly that you've been friends for a while and that you were close, losing such a strong friendship like that is hard, so y’know, it's good you’re trying to make things up, _they eventually signed. 

Habit nodded slowly, wondering idly if they were hiding something, he didn’t press though. “Ye-ah… Kamal & I have been thru… a Lot together. I thimk, I think they know me more than anyone else… bee-sides maybe Pubit. I hope we can b like that Again.”

Flower Kid’s head tilted in confusion at the mention of Pubit, but they didn’t say anything about it. _ I wish you luck, just know that they aren’t entitled to forgive you and that they may want to cut ties. I don’t think that’ll happen, but it’s a possibility. If that happens, you just have to accept that it’s their choice, but that you’re still trying to improve. _

Habit nodded in acknowledgement as the conversation awkwardly stuttered into a stop. The two sat facing each other for a while, the kid occasionally sipping at their coffee, as Habit considered what he’d say next. As the words came out of his mouth he instantly regretted it, it was embarrassing, too embarrassing, but he continued until he finished his sentence.

“Have u… Have you ever had a crush on n-e-one?”

The kid tilted their head. _ Yes, but it's never been anything too serious and hasn't ever gone anywhere. I've been homeschooled all my life, most of my friends are either too old or too young. Do you have a crush on someone? _

“May-bee….” He absolutely had a crush, there was no doubt about it, but he really didn't feel like any typical crush advice would be very useful considering… And he wasn't about to tell the kid who exactly he had a crush on, not that it wasn't obvious at all considering that he asked about crushes right after discussing the subject of said crush. 

_ Well, good luck. I'm honestly probably not the best for relationship advice, but don't ever be afraid to talk to me about it. _

Habit smiled, ignoring the fact that he was very much afraid to do just that. 

* * *

Habit’s knuckles hovered over Kamal's door for a few stilted moments before he finally knocked with a sigh. He'd been to their apartment before, but it had been a few years, and back then there wasn't a huge cloud of guilt hovering over him at all times. It had grown over time, steadily and horribly as he realized just how bad he messed up. He'd started therapy, which was very much needed, but it was a slow and steady process, not helped by the fact that the first therapist he’d gone to was horrible. She didn't let him speak a word and just rambled on for an hour about a solution to a problem he didn't even have. His current therapist was better, but he'd only gone twice so far. Not enough visits to begin to address much. 

At that moment though, Habit had to concentrate on the task at hand. It was time to teach sign language. 

There were some rustles and what Habit recognized as Kamal's voice before the door slowly opened to Kamal struggling to dislodge a fairly grumpy looking Tim Tam from their leg while holding their collection of about fifteen toothbrushes above their head. 

“Hi…” Kamal’s voice cracked, a sort of pained smile on their face. 

“Am I interrupting some-thing? :-0”

“Tim Tam’s trying to take my toothbrushes.”

“Don't need them. Redistribute. For the people.”

“I've _ used _all of these!! And you don't know that I won't need them!!”

Habit fixed Tim Tam with a serious look while trying to keep his guilt cloud far away. “They care a Lot about their toothbrushles And dental health, it might not look like they need them, but!! It is Import-ant for them 2 make sure they have Extras, even if it might seem ‘excessive’ two you.”

Tim Tam just stared back with an accusatory look, and Habit shrunk back into his jacket. 

Kamal gently nudged Tim Tam and shook their head a bit before giving them a reassuring smile and then turning their attention to Habit. “...Thanks. Um, why don't you come in?” 

Habit could still feel Tim Tam’s eyes on him, but the intensity of their gaze had calmed to a more typical level. He couldn't help but think about how Kamal's toothbrush collection had grown exponentially since the Martha incident. They had always had a couple of extras, but never like this. That was, without a doubt, his fault. 

“Um! Where should we do thes?” Habit asked, even though he knew the answer. 

“Uhh the couch should be fine? Unless you had something else in mind.”

Habit winced internally. “Nonono that's fine!”

Tim Tam disappeared into the bedroom as Habit and Kamal sat down, an awkward silence growing between them. 

“So, I sup-pose we should bee-gin?” Habit said, shattering the silence. 

“Yeah, you lead the way D-- Habit.”

Habit ignored Kamal's slip best he could, it wasn't like he was a doctor anymore anyways. And it didn't matter that he adored when Kamal called him Doc.

Taking a deep breath, Habit began. “Okey, so 2day I will start with some simple conversational words & phrases & basic grammar sorts of things. I will show u a sine and say what it means, u repeat it. We'll go over it a lot while slowlee intro-ducing more words.”

“Alright, sounds like a plan.”

“First we do yes and no.”

“Is it not just nodding and shaking your head?” Kamal asked in surprise.

“Nop-e! This is yes,” Habit held his hand out in a fist, thumb over the fingers and shook it up and down “and this is no,” he took his pointer and middle fingers and closed them onto his thumb. 

Kamal repeated the signs a few times, “I can see how this would probably flow easier in conversation.”

“Yeep!”

Habit continued, introducing new signs while often going back to revisit older ones. Occasionally he gently adjusted Kamal's hands to show them exactly how to do a sign, and occasionally he had to reconsider introducing new signs to work on ones from earlier, but it was going pretty smoothly, and as the lesson continued it became less awkward and laughs occasionally made their way in as Kamal misinterpreted questions Habit asked. 

After the atmosphere of the room became noticeably lighter, the bedroom door slowly opened and Tim Tam quietly snuck back out and wormed their way into Kamal's lap. 

“Oh hey kiddo! Decide to join us?” Kamal asked. 

Tim Tam shrugged. 

“We can go Back and review the signs we have covered alreadie if u would like,” Habit suggested. 

Tim Tam shook their head and made a point to sink lower into Kamal's lap. Habit couldn't help but smile at the sight. 

The lesson continued, and soon enough Tim Tam started copying the signs along with Kamal. They stayed silent the whole time, but it was clear that they were enjoying themself. 

The lesson ended when Habit ran out of material. There was a bit of talk about future lessons and practice but Tim Tam, getting bored of all the adult talk, slinked off the couch and walked to the door. 

“Oh hey wowowoah Tim Tam, where are you going?” Kamal lept up once they noticed they had left. 

“Putunia’s.”

“Uh! Wait, just wait a few minutes so I can walk you over.”

Tim Tam shook their head. “Alone. Will be fine.”

Kamal opened their mouth again only to let out a quiet high pitched noise of anxiety. 

Before Habit could reconsider, he placed a hand on Kamal's shoulder. In the past it wouldn't have been a huge deal, but after everything that had happened… It was too late anyways, his hand was on their shoulder and he just had to deal with it. 

“It's O.K., I'm sure they will bee fine. Tiff onlie live a few buildings down, Yes? Tim Tam knows where theyr’e going.”

Kamal let out a long breath. “Yeah, yeah you're right. I'm sorry Tim Tam, you can go, just make sure you get back in time for dinner okay? If Tiff invites you to stay for dinner there, have her call me.”

Tim Tam stared at the two for a few seconds before nodding and leaving. It was only then that Habit realized he was alone with Kamal. He quickly took his hand off their shoulder with a quiet apology. 

“You're… Fine.” Kamal sighed, slowly making their way back to the couch. 

Habit followed, starting to speak once he sat down, staring down at his fidgety hands. “I want 2… Apologize again for acting the way I did before I Fired you. I also want to apolo-gize for well, sort of trying to pretend none of it happened with this ‘lesson.’”

Kamal froze, staring in Habit’s direction but avoiding eye contact. “I… Yeah. I'll be honest I've been kinda uh, trying to pretend none of it happened as well.” They winced. “I don't really think that's the… Healthiest way to do this but--” They hissed quietly and put their hands over their head. “Fuck. I'm sorry I. God you don't need to--” Kamal ended up curled into a ball, plugging their ears and eyes shut tight. “Never… Nevermind. Ignore me. Please.”

Habit stared at the little ball of Kamal in front of him, a cold pit growing in his stomach. “Sorry,” he whispered, barely audible. He was apologizing too much, he knew it. 

“It's not… It's not you.” A muffled voice came from the ball of Kamal. “You're fine. It's got nothing-- well it _ does _but-- It’s not-- I don't know it's just... shitty brain stuff.”

“Would you like… 2 talk about it..?”

Kamal hissed again. “Not. Really. But I probably should it's just-- stupid I. Don't want to admit any of this it's. _ God _.”

Habit chewed on his lip nervously. “U can talk to me, I won't judge.”

Kamal looked up with a sort of desperate look before sighing and turning away. “It's just… I don't know I just. I don’t… I’m not as mad as I think everyone expects me to be? I. It’s stupid. It really is. I just. I _ was _ mad. I was really fucking mad. But I’m… not that much anymore? Like it still _ hurts _ but I’m not mad. And. And that makes me feel like I’m just being an idiot and too forgiving or whatever but then _ that _ makes me feel gross because I don’t want to think like that and… and.”

“Mad about what?” Habit asked in a whisper, even though in the end he already knew. 

Kamal looked back just a bit. “You… you know.”

“Yeah.”

Kamal chuckled sadly. “You're probably the last person in the world who needs to hear about any of this. I'm sorry. It's. It’s not your fault, well, not all the way. Not the uh, shitty brain part. Isn't anyone else's fault either. It's just uh, happening.”

“It's okey, we all need to vent sometimes… Even if you are venting about Me kind of. You’ve been there fore me so many times over that it's only fair that I'm here for u.”

Kamal put their hands up to their face and laughed for real. “No wonder I can't bring myself to stay mad, you're just a big softy.” They sighed and leaned back to look at the ceiling. “I guess I'm just not the type of person to hold a grudge. It… Felt great to be mad right after but it just gets tiring. Especially since deep down I've always known you were just trying to push me away. In. The most effective way possible considering my paper thin self esteem but.”

“I'm sorree…”

Kamal through up their hands. “Augh no you're fine! You don't need to apologize, I should just stop bringing it up.” They lay back down for a few seconds before looking over at Habit. “I'm not… Sure if I forgive you? I'll be completely honest I'm not even too sure what forgiveness is supposed to even _ mean _ at this point. Just. Just know that I know that you’re sorry. And that I know you're really really trying to get better and make things up. I _ know _you, Habit. I've known you for… So long now. We've been through so much together, I'm sure we can get through this.”

“...You think?”

“Not to be redundant but um, yeah. I'm pretty sure I know we can.”

* * *

Habit stared at the mural he was in the middle of painting. He couldn't continue. It was too… Too personal to put on the walls of the Habitat. He didn't really know when exactly he started crying, but soon enough he found himself sobbing onto the wall, wet paint staining his hair and clothes. 

The quick but loud footsteps from Kamal's nervous run up the stairwell were noticed much too late for Habit to try pretending like he wasn't in the middle of crying on wet paint. Kamal was panting by the time they made it onto the roof and out of the dreaded stairwell, but they were still able to give Habit a worried look. 

“I’m… fine,” Habit lied awkwardly, answering nothing but the look.

“Clearly,” Kamal swallowed before they quietly tacked on “that was sarcasm, sorry if it came off kinda rude.”

“‘S fine.” Habit mumbled, absently turning back to his painting. 

Kamal gave him a small and unsure nod before silently observing the half painted mural. 

“Is that… You?” They asked slowly.

Habit nodded. “When eye was Small.”

Kamal stood silently for a long pause. “You going to paint over it?”

Habit nodded. “Its’ too ‘Personable’…”

“Too personal.” Kamal echoed. They paused before squatting down to Habit’s level. “Are you alright?”

“What do u Think?” Habit asked bitterly, moving away from the wall so Kamal could see the entirety of his disheveled state.

Kamal winced. “Sorry,” they sat down properly, slowly moving closer to Habit until their knees were touching. They began reaching out to embrace him, maybe, before putting their arms back down and asking, “I, uh. Would you like to talk about it?”

Habit broke down into sobs and practically fell onto Kamal. “I thouht that. I thought that may-b I could Use an image of habbyness frome my child-hood? I thought that would b nice! But it just. It just brings up Two many memorys from that time, too manny Terrible memories. Oh, my Lily…”

The Lily in question was what Habit had painted right before he realized that he didn’t want to keep the mural. 

“Your Lily?” Kamal asked, slowly wrapping their arms around Habit’s shaking body. 

Habit nodded. “Mmm, Lily was the only 1 who wuld list-en to me back in those days. Well, I think it Helped that he was… A flour. Could’nt reely not listen but… I coulde just Talk 2 him & he would’nt make Fun of me or enything. But he… He was hurt. I. I’m not subbosed to have him anymore… Not aftur I moved out, no. I. I ca’nt. Its’ like what my Father said, its all two childish. I… do Miss him tho.” 

Habit slowly curled into Kamal’s lap. They were so small, it felt a bit silly. It all felt so silly, everything he had said. He covered his face, just waiting for Kamal to laugh, to judge.

“I’m sorry,” Kamal whispered, voice cracking a bit. “If. If it helps I uh, I don’t really think it’s childish at all… You were alone, and. And everyone needs someone to talk to, even if it is a flower. It sounds like it-- he was important to you, and that’s… that’s not a bad thing.”

Habit looked up at Kamal. They were looking down at him, tears in their eyes. At the sudden eye contact, Kamal looked up and rubbed away their tears. “Sorry,” they mumbled.

Habit sniffed and chucked a bit, “What r you apologeising for?”

“Ah… nothing,” they responded, a hand covering their face. 

“Sillie…” Habit mumbled fondly. The ache of his memories still sat in his stomach, but Kamal's presence helped immensely. He… He _ trusted _them. Actual, genuine trust that seemed sturdier than anything before it. He almost started crying again after realizing.

Kamal, on the other hand, didn't respond to the comment, instead just looking up and covering their face. Habit chuckled silently at that. They always reacted to compliments in the same i’m-freaking-out-but-want-you-to-think-i'm-totally-cool sort of way. Habit figured they didn't get a lot of them, so he made sure to give them out liberally, feeling flutters in his chest after seeing them react.

The two sat there for a bit, lapsing into a sort of sombre but hopeful silence. Suddenly, Habit realized where exactly he was resting (on Kamal's lap) and what exactly that meant (he hadn't asked for permission). It was very much too late, but Habit sprung up and moved a more respectful amount of inches away. Kamal grunted in surprise and Habit gave them an apologetic look before awkwardly standing up and slowly leaving the roof. 

“Hey! Uh, one sec!” Kamal called. 

Habit turned around, head tilted in question.

Kamal's cheeks suddenly flushed as they looked down at the ground. “Not to, not to uh, bring up your vent again but um… I just wanted to say? If you uh, ever need someone to talk to, someone to uh, listen to you, please don't be afraid to talk to me, alright?”

Habit nodded once, just a bit speechless. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> brief disclaimer: i don’t know any sign languages so if i’ve represented anything wrong PLEASE let me know. i did i bit of research before writing but yknow there’s always room to grow. also not a huge fan of how i described the signs but what can you do.
> 
> anyways uhh please leave a comment about what you enjoyed!! like i’ve said, they’re really what make me continue writing and i appreciate every one of them greatly


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new chapter!! it's been a while... sorry guys i've been... distracted *cough* look at the other stuff i've written  
also umm forgot to mention this last chapter but in the first chapter kamal mentions that they didn't know that habit's lily was actually a flower but in the last chapter they like actually talk about it in the flashback section... if u were confused basically i redacted it cuz i thought it was dumb and im too lazy to edit. sorry.

**kamal: good morning**

**wall man: oh hey kamal, didn't expect to see you up so early**

**kamal: it's 9**

**wall man: and a saturday. usually you sleep in til noon.**

**kamal: im making a change in my life**

**wall man: HAH**

**wall man: well it's nice to see you**

**Stop changing my name to other herbs (Mint): Hey bitch!**

**kamal: bastard**

**Stop changing my name to other herbs (Mint): You hurt me. **

**Stop changing my name to other herbs (Mint): Anyways uh, I'm very close to finishing everything with the adoption which is exciting! **

**kamal: good**

**kamal: ! **

**you know, the clown: ohh heyy,, kammasl on…..**

**wall man: ronbo are you crytyping again**

**you know, the clown: nno. imn ot even crruing thhis tjme**

**you know, the clown: iim kn a skaatebrd **

**Stop changing my name to other herbs (Mint): Oh so THAT’S who I saw the other day. Sorry man but Millie might have a point. **

**wall man: you skateboard?**

**wall man: and you’ve never told me??**

**you know, the clown: it's a new thing**

**you know, the clown: turns out general clowning skilks can translate moderately well into skateboarding skills. **

**kamal: I wouldn't believe that from anyone other than you.**

**you know, the clown: thanks?**

**kamal: you're welcome**

**fk: OH HEY KAMAL **

**fk: GOOD MORNING also i wanted to ask you a question do you mind if i dm you?**

**kamal: sure. **

“Wait-- Tim Tam what are you  _ doing?” _

Tim Tam's hands froze above the keyboard as a little DM notification from Flower Kid popped up on the screen of the PC. 

“Are you pretending to be me in the group chat??”

“...Maybe.”

Kamal stood there in disbelief. Well, not disbelief, this was a pretty in character thing for Tim Tam to do, but they were pretty shocked. Still, they couldn't bring themself to be mad at their kid and so instead they just burst out laughing.

“I really never know what to expect from you, kid. Guess we gotta add identity theft onto your list of crimes, eh?”

Tim Tam frowned just the slightest amount. “I'll give it back. Not theft. Borrowing.”

Kamal grinned and raised an eyebrow. “Yeah? How about you let me sit down so I can finally be Kamal Bora yet again.”

Tim Tam stood for a few seconds to let Kamal sit before returning to the chair, this time in their proper place on Kamal's lap.

**kamal: heyyy guys guess who got their identity stolen by a little purple gremlin?**

**kamal: i literally just woke up all that other stuff was typed and sent by tim tam themself**

**wall man: WOW**

**wall man: gotta say they've got you down pretty well, just a bit more quiet if anything. **

**kamal: what's the damage like**

**you know, the clown: they said something vaguely ominous to me but other than that they were pretty kamal-passing**

**kamal: somehow that’s not reassuring in any way.**

**fk: oh my god. i just dmed you. abt something kinda serious. tell tim tam they’re a little bastard**

**kamal: im trying not to swear around them**

**fk: fine… call them a beanhead. they did call parsley a bastard tho.**

**kamal: they did??**

**kamal: guess my efforts have been in vain.**

**fk: pretty sure they were born knowing the fuck word. sorry kamal.**

“Beanhead.” Tim Tam mumbled, and Kamal suddenly remembered that they could read everything on the screen.

“Have you had breakfast yet?” Kamal asked.

Tim Tam shook their head.

“Get the bread and jam out and I’ll make you some toast in a bit, alright?”

Tim Tam sighed and hopped off Kamal’s lap, admitting their defeat. Kamal smiled after them and opened the message from Flower Kid.

**fk: hey, habit’s been wanting to reconnect with the ex-habititans, apologize and stuff. i’ve given him some email addresses and all that but i’ve been wondering… should i add him to the chatroom?**

**kamal: gonna be honest kid, i don't think i’m the only person you should ask about this. **

**kamal: the best course of action will probably be to have a poll, everyone votes. **

**kamal: if there's a lot of no’s… like 6+? no. if wallus threatens to leave even if there are less? (he will vote no) no. other than that...**

**fk: pfffffbt i was afraid you'd say something like that**

**fk: alright. i trust you. i just don't want to cause any arguments, ugh. **

**kamal: yeah i get it, sorry kiddo. **

**kamal: you have a way to work the poll?**

**fk: yeah, i know a website. pretty handy. **

**kamal: alright, good luck. you probably already know what i’m voting. **

**fk: LOL**

**fk: ill vote for you if you're heading off**

**kamal: that would be great, thanks.**

Kamal sighed and turned off the computer. They were very glad they weren't in Flower Kid’s position at that moment. Instead of potentially wrangling a sensitive argument, they were making breakfast for their kid. 

Tim Tam’s head tilted in question as Kamal entered the small kitchen. They had put the toast in the toaster and set out the jam and a stick of butter. 

“Mmm? Oh, Flower Kid wanted to know if I thought it was a good idea to add Habit to the chatroom.”

Tim Tam pushed the handle on the toaster down lightly a few times before asking, “What did you say?”

Kamal took the hint and pushed the toast all the way down. Tim Tam only really needed their help spreading the jam and butter, but Kamal didn't really want them operating a toaster just yet. 

“I told them to ask everyone else to see if they were all okay with it so they’ve started a poll.”

Tim Tam stared intently at the toaster and Kamal vaguely wondered if they knew they might get jumpscared by the toast popping up. 

“Hm. Would vote… Yes. Maybe.”

“Yeah?”

“Mmm… He was nice the other day.”

“He can be pretty nice.”

“He was mean to you though. Before.”

Kamal paused, letting the silence between them fill with the ticking of the toaster’s timer for a bit. 

“Yeah, he was.”

“Why do you like him then?”

Kamal chuckled hollowly and slowly formulated how exactly they could answer in a way that would make sense to Tim Tam while also not talking down to them. They weren't an idiot, but they were still a kid. 

The toaster popped and Kamal started talking as their hands became busy preparing the toast. 

“I've known him for probably more than half your life. That's a long time, relationships can become pretty complicated, especially since we worked so close together. The Martha incident was a big thing, it was horrible, it left a big scar on our relationship, but it didn't erase all that previous time, and I don't think it's something he can't come back from.”

Tim Tam nodded slowly, still not looking entirely convinced.

“It was a rough time for the both of us, Habit especially though. That's what caused the incident in the first place and what made the aftermath so devastating. We're both in a much better place now, and y'know, I can see things going back to being similar to how they were before the incident… or even better, to be honest. Deep down, he's a sweet guy, that's why… I like him.”

Kamal winced internally at the choice of words while Tim Tam took their toast. 

“Would vote yes then. Think I like him too.”

Kamal smiled to themself. Tim Tam was a good kid. 

* * *

By the time Kamal returned to the groupchat later that night, the poll was closed. 13 Habititians voted yes, 5 voted no. The four youngest, including Tim Tam, didn't vote (Kamal wasn’t able to share their vote before the poll closed). 

Habit would be added to the groupchat, the kid had just sent the link, and by how stilted the conversation had gotten despite how many people were online, it was clear everyone was waiting. Kamal was just about to bring up a new tab when

**> User joined**

The chat was unbearably quiet. Kamal could feel the tension even though they couldn't see anyone behind their own screens. They slowly typed out a message, waiting for just about anyone else to break the silence before they did. 

**kamal: hey habit!**

**User: O Kamal!!! Hi!!!**

**User: It's nice 2 “see” u! :-) How R you doing?**

Kamal sighed, anxiety draining from their posture in buckets. It was fine, it would be fine. They had nothing to worry about.

**kamal: alright, how are you?**

**User: Just fine! Didnt’ expect too b invited in-two here But eye am glad i’m hear n-y-ways. **

**kamal: that's good, it's nice to have you here!**

**User: I sup-poze. Eye’m sure not every1 is to pleezed to See me, which is 2 b expected. I do not “mind.”**

**Stop changing my name to other herbs (Mint): Oh hi Habit, didn't expect to see you here. **

**User: O! Is that my Good Friend Parble?**

**User: *Parmsley?**

**User: *Parsel?**

**Stop changing my name to other herbs (Mint): Yes, it's me, Parsley. Apparently not for long though since no one gets it right!**

**Nat (and sometimes Trencil): ok mint**

**Nat (and sometimes Trencil): also, hey habit. dad says hi too he just doesn’t understand the keyboard.**

**Nat (and sometimes Trencil): i dont get it. don't typewriters basically work the same way??**

**Nat (and sometimes Trencil): he says it “just doesn’t feel the same.” okay.**

**User: Hello Nat and Trencil! :-)**

**User: Its’ good 2 sea every-1 in one place**

**User: Again, kind-of**

**fk: oh habit do you know how to change your name on this?**

**User: O!!! Yes I “do” :-) eye jsut foregot to. **

**Habit!!: There we g-o!**

Okay. Okay. Alright. Kamal was fine, Kamal was good! Kamal was most definitely heterosexual. They were opening Flower Kid’s private messages just to chat! Not because they were avoiding opening Habit’s.

**kamal: hey funny question so uh what would you say if i told you i very suddenly wanted to actually act on my crush?**

**fk: i would say you are gay. **

**fk: fr though is this your way of asking for advice?**

**kamal: UM**

**kamal: yes**

**fk: well you're in luck, on saturday it's half valentines day!**

**kamal: what does that mean**

**fk: it's the day exactly halfway between last and next valentines day**

**kamal: you just made that up didn't you**

**fk: well it IS exactly between the two**

**fk: and i didn’t ** ** _just _ ** **make it up**

**fk: just get the man a gift and say it's for half valentines day so it can be a thing**

**kamal: i think i'll just ask him out for lunch sometime… uh. thanks though. wouldn't have gotten the courage otherwise**

**fk: well my other friend asking for romance advice thought it was a good idea. i still think you should do it. **

**kamal: is your other friend parsley, perhaps?**

**fk: nope. goodbye.**

**kamal: oh what where are you going.**

**kamal: ...goodbye??**

* * *

“Posters all Up?”

“All… 500 happiness facts!”

“Beds made?”

“They have been for a while, not sure anything could un-make them at this point.”

“Lounge stock’d?”

“Um, with everything Mr. Botch asked for at least.”

“Janitor?”

'“Is. Is Wallus just on your list like that?”

“Ah! No, this paper is empt-y. I'm just a Bit nervouse.”

Kamal laughed quietly. They were pretty damn nervous as well, but Habit’s charming little impromptu list took their mind off things for a bit. The grand opening of the Habitat was today, and new members-- Habititians, Habit mentioned he'd address them as-- would be trickling in as the day went by. They had about ten people signed up at that point, not too much, but they hadn't expected to hit max capacity the first day at all. 

The first car up the small mountain road finally made its way out of the trees and into view and both Habit and Kamal tracked it intently. The secluded location of the Habitat meant that a good half mile of road lead exclusively to the place, and so any car that followed it up was either lost or belonged to a new habititan.

The passenger door of the car opened a good 30 seconds after it parked, and it remained open for a good moment before it was shut by a bored looking kid. 

Kamal pretty much knew exactly who this was the moment they got out of the car considering there was only one application for an 11 year old at the moment, but they nodded politely as she introduced herself as Nat Varnia. 

“It's nice to finally meet you Nat! I'm Kamal Bora if you… Haven't guessed that already.”

“Yeah, I remember seeing you on the website. You're Dr. Habit’s… Uh…” 

“...Assisty-ant?” Habit supplied, sounding just as perplexed at Nat’s awkward trailing off as Kamal felt. 

“Oh! Uh, yeah. Of course, right.”

Habit gave Kamal a questioning look and they just subtly shrugged back. 

“...Um! Anee-ways, Kamal, would U like to show Ms. Varnia to her room? :-0”

“Oh! Yeah, sure. You sure you're okay out here by yourself?”

Habit waved Kamal away with a small smile. “I'll bee fine! I wouldn't want 2 have poor Nat wandering the Habby-tat while it's still so emptie.”

Kamal chuckled. “Yeah, that's true. Hold down the fort down here while I'm gone!”

Habit smiled and waved while Nat looked between him and Kamal with a confused look on her face. Eventually she just shrugged and made her way through the massive front doors. Kamal followed, quickly overtaking her in order to direct her to the apartments. 

Nat's room was on the first floor on the right side, the second one from the door. One window at the back, a TV embedded into the front wall by the door, and a bathroom to the left. It was small, as all the rooms in the Habitat were, but as she let go of her suitcase and flung herself onto the bed, she looked about as pleased as an edgy preteen could look. 

Not wanting to leave the kid alone in the Habitat quite yet, even if she was giving them a death stare, Kamal cleared their throat and asked why she was there.

“Mmm? Oh, my dad’s been interested in this place ever since the first advertisements reached him. Honestly, it felt like every day he'd mention how nice of a place it looked. He'd always frame it as somewhere I’d go, but it was pretty obvious he’s the one who really wants to be here. I dunno, I think if I'm here he can finally find an excuse to come too, so I'm just here ‘cuz of him… Or whatever.”

Kamal silently sighed in relief as they learned that Nat didn't have any major issues at age 11. “Huh, you think your dad’ll follow you anytime soon?”

Nat shrugged. “Nah, not this year anyways. Dunno if you saw I'm only staying for like, two weeks. School starts soon. I guess my dad’s treating it like a summer camp? I dunno, it's weird. I'm here for now though so… Might as well try to enjoy it.”

“Well, I hope you have a good time here, that's why we made this place.”

“You and the doctor?”

“Yeah, I'm  _ technically  _ his assistant but honestly at this point the title’s a relic from our old jobs, I pretty much co-own the place.”

“Huh. From the website it sounds like you're an old married couple.”

Kamal froze. “We… What?”

Nat snorted. “Yeah, probably why my dad was so excited.” She paused, “um, you aren’t a homophobe, are you?”

Kamal blinked and then burst out laughing.

“That's what I thought, ya twink.”

Kamal started wheezing and fell down onto their knees.

“I-- holy fuck. Do you even know what a twink is?”

“Um, yeah! Of course I do!” She scoffed.

Kamal narrowed their eyes but refrained from asking for a definition. “So things were just… Framed in a way that made us sound like a couple?”

Nat shrugged. “Yeah, pretty much.”

Kamal chuckled in embarrassment. “Your dad sounds pretty cool though.”

“What?? No way.” Nat stuck out her tongue.

“I might be a tad biased, but I’d loved to have grown up with an openly gay parent.”

“Hmm, yeah. I guess that's  _ kinda  _ cool. Cool that he uh, calls me the right name ‘n uh. Is chill with me being a girl.” Nat’s words became more and more quiet and nervous as she went on, curling up into a ball.

“I'd say that's pretty cool,” Kamal said gently, sitting on the bed right next to Nat. “I'll make sure everyone gets your pronouns right here, mmmk?”

“Thanks.”

“I figured out things for myself when I was about 15. Didn't have the best time with it but I mean, I'm here now, right?”

Nat looked up hopefully up at Kamal. “You ‘n my dad, trans and succeeding.”

Kamal shrugged. “Eh pretty much, no one ever gets my pronouns right but I do what I can.”

Nat frowned. “What  _ are  _ your pronouns though?”

“They/them,” Kamal responded sheepishly. “I mean, it's not like I tell a whole lotta people so y'know it's not really their fault--”

“I'll make sure everyone gets  _ your  _ pronouns right too,” Nat interrupted.

“Huh?”

“You heard me, nerd! If  _ you're _ going to make sure no one misgenders  _ me _ I’m going to give anyone who misgenders  _ you  _ a death stare with extra disapproval. I'm  _ really  _ good at death stares.”

Kamal smiled. “Thanks a lot kid, it was nice meeting you.”

Nat shrugged. “Yeah, whatever.”

Kamal left the room, but not without sneaking a peak at Nat’s thoughtful smile. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the flashback part i actually have had done for a While now... i accidentally started writing it for the last chapter haha. anyways this was a long chapter i hope you enjoyed!! leave a comment and share ur Thoughts and i will be a happy writer


End file.
